I recently got into Manifesting lately and journaling I have a few notebooks asking for the same thing,I have bought waist beads,even paid for spells and bought medicine to help my manifestations.i feel drained asking for the same thing and I am impatient I find myself crying and taking my anger out on my family cause I genuinely want what I have been asking God and I won't stop praising Them if they give it to me. I just want to prove I am worthy of what I am practically begging for
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You are worthy of your desire. As soon as you imagine it, its done. You control the 3D and even though your circumstances seem to get the best of you , you will always control the 3D [From imagination]. It is never about forcing it to happen in the 3D, it is about being in imagination therefore it will reflect in the 3D. Stop focusing on the physical aspect and keep you focus on how you percieve yourself, and life around you.
i suggest watching or reading Edward Art (series) on Youtube or reddit.
Looks like you're taking lots of external action to try and get what you want, which isn't going to anything if you haven't changed your inner thoughts... also normally I'd also tell you that it is you who gives yourself your desires, they do not come from an outer source, but if you have a god then I should respect that
It seems like you're coming from a place of begging which could be why you feel drained. Manifesting shouldn't feel like work!